


26 Hours

by astronomylady



Series: Pride and Vor-Prejudice [6]
Category: Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Future Fic, LGB Intolerance, M/M, Multi, Quarelling Relatives, Threesome - F/M/M, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 13:43:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19395349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astronomylady/pseuds/astronomylady
Summary: Another part of Pride and Vor-Prejudice series, a future-fic AU about Ivan, Tej, Byerly and their children.  This one is set in between pts 1 and 2 of “To Our Trusty and Beloved Cousin”.This is what happened to Ivan in the 26 hour time gap between Gregor breaking the news and Gregor providing his settlement.Warning: Sex, angst and politics, lots of politics.





	26 Hours

**Prologue: 9am Barrayan Embassy, Zoave Twilight**

“Vorpatril! There’s a priority message here from the Emperor himself, but it’s locked to a parallel message to you that has to open first. What the hell, Vorpatril?” Ambassador Vorgorov looked pissed off.

Ivan’s shit detectors screamed ‘red alert.’ If the Emperor was sending mail that he needed to read before his boss, it meant bad news that was both family-related and political. The last time he could immediately recall such a missive, Miles was in a cryochamber. Not good; innocent bystanders beware. He shrugged as respectfully as possible. “I have no idea sir. There’s been a suspicious lack of any communications that wasn’t official since the anti-piracy operation was launched. I’ve been too busy liaising with the Marilacans to make inquiries.”

“Read your mail Vorpatril” growled Vorgorov.

Ivan went to his office and shut the door. Yes, his comconsole had an eyes-only message from the Emperor. He guardedly opened it.

**0 Hrs**

… _I now have, what I believe to be a reasonable settlement. It is in the second part of this missive, but the document will not open without a 26 hour time delay and a confirmation from Tej that you have had over 6 hours sleep. I want you to grieve with your family, eat, sleep, then read the proposal with a clearer head. Until then, I remind you of Uncle Aral’s distinction between honour and reputation._

_Your cousin_

_Count Gregor Vorbarra, Emperor of Barrayar._

**1 hr -Shock**

“Does that stunned-mullet look mean our epistolary blockade is over and we finally have mail? I realise that those at home may think you incapable of it, but I assure you that _some_ of us can multi-task well enough to read news while report-writing.” Byerly struck a pose; ably assisted by his motley attire of coral, periwinkle and eau-de-nil (lime green having been firmly banished by Tej). He then declaimed floridly “The gossip must flow!”

He brazenly read over Ivan’s still shoulder, then he gripped it silently, the expression draining from his face as the news sank in. Byerly was Vor to the bone, he understood the stabbing shame of Count Vorpatril’s actions where Tej could not. He knew it from horrible personal experience too.

“Take a deep breath, dear one.”

“This...this happened two months ago. Disinherited. He took my name By! My honour’s gone!”

“No. _Not_ true! You swore on your name two years ago that you would never leave me. Has that oath vanished into a wormhole, because an old man a dozen jumps away banned the use of that name? Or is it just as strong today as then?”

“Oh God, I gave my name’s word to Captain Tremont that I would get that Komarran pirate a courtroom trial. That was two _weeks_ ago. I swore agreements on my name —my name! When it wasn’t mine to give.” By gripped him even more fiercely and shook him a little.

“No! You swore those as an ambassador, Gregor’s Voice in the Nexus. You made those commitments based on your personal integrity, which Falco can’t take away. You are the most honourable man I know and it was that honour that put you on a Marilacan warship, putting your body behind your word.”

“I was just terrified of you getting killed because I wasn’t there to make a difference.”

“But you were there, you made a difference and we got everyone that mattered, out alive. I confess that after several years of Dealing with that monster, spitting on his corpse was a joy to savour.”

Ivan glared at that reminder. Then glared harder, realising that Byerly was trying to irritate him out of shock.

“The point dear one, is that you did it because you are you. A name is nothing without the man behind it. A man can be worthy and hold himself up without a clan, as I eventually figured out when I joined ImpSec and stopped destroying myself. The reverse is true as well. We don’t speak of ‘Yuri Vorbarra’, we speak of ‘Mad Yuri’. He had the highest name in the land and he pissed his honour away, by committing the vilest betrayal possible.”

Ivan could hear that By was talking sense but he couldn’t feel it, it wouldn’t sink in, not yet. He had to move. “I’m going to the gym” he mumbled and took off.

**3hrs -How to Go On**

Ivan was pounding on the treadmill, when By caught up with him again. He’d tried a punchbag, but running seemed to help more.

“Get changed. Come with me.”

Ivan resisted dully “No.”

“Yes,” he insisted and shut off the machine, sending Ivan sprawling. By had swapped out his previous attire for a sober suit and black brassard and found similar for Ivan. His husband manhandled him, first into the fresh clothes, then into a ground-car which soon settled in front of a very familiar Rep-Centre.

The clerk at the desk fluttered a little, “We’ve no appointed visit listed for today...”

By cut him off “We’ve just had news of a close family death. My partner needs to see some life. Kindly take us to our son.”

The clerk looked at the brassards, then Ivan’s face, and called an attendant to show them through.

Ivan touched the view screen and stared at the growing bean that would become his new son. Memories flooded in of the day they cracked the bottle on Padma. He recalled looking into the scrunched face of his first child, wondering and terrified, and blindly making crazy promises for the future despite having had no father of his own to learn from. This new child deserved the same and more. He was supposed to be their fresh start, Ivan and Tej’s gift to their husband — a child made from all three’s DNA with one name contributed from each. A bolt of anger stabbed through him. Simon Dono Amiri deserved to be born with a clean slate, not poisoned by bigotry from an old man with his head stuck in the time of isolation. This was all kinds of wrong and Ivan was just going to have to fix it —somehow.

By watched his face change and squeezed his arm. “We go on regardless, for him. We are going to make sure our son will be loved, listened to, and grow up an honourable man. No matter what his eventual surname.”

Abruptly, Ivan was utterly grateful for his vain, annoying, underhanded, _wonderful_ husband, who could read him like a book, and was still working through his own losses with ongoing courage. What did By see in that replicator? Especially with his dead son’s birthday approaching soon?

Ivan pulled him tight and buried his face in the shorter man’s shoulder for several minutes. When he pulled up, By assessed him carefully, “Remember the Emperor already said he had a plan. Trust him. Now, are you ready to fight back?”

“I’m getting there. I’ll need your help though. Tej...She’s not Vor, she won’t...”

“Yes, she won’t see Barrayar’s bigotry as a battle worth fighting, not after last time. She wants our children away from it all.”

“Getting away from our families and the mess they create, was why we became diplomats in the first place. It’s asking a lot to go back on that.”

“Then we will just have to convince her with a united front. This is who we are and there is only so far that we can bend. In the end Tej has invested 12 years of her life into House Barrayar, so to speak, and has benefited greatly from that choice. She’s going to have to deal with the responsibilities too.”

“Yes, that’s it, ‘House Barrayar.’ I don’t always frame things in sufficiently Jacksonian terms to make sense to her. ”

“Then you have my very experienced assistance. Now, if you’re ready to go back, we can start planning our next moves and you can start on your inevitable flow charts.”

Ivan touched his husband’s jaw and asked ingeniously, “Oh, is there something wrong with flow charts?” and grinned at the eye-roll he received in return. “Embassy?”

“Embassy.”

With one last touch of their son’s replicator, the men left to wrest back their family’s future.

**5hrs -Condolences**

Vorgorov offered his condolences diplomatically (of course) and gave Ivan the rest of the day off.

“I received the notification of Count Vorpatril’s passing and the orders for you to return to Barrayar, but they had a most peculiar appellation, ‘Lord Ivan’. Which suggests there are far more complex manoeuvres afoot than the Emperor wanting to stick a medal on your chest for the ‘Pride of Olbia.’ I’m also instructed that I’m the one to collect any oaths from now on. I don’t like to intrude, but, is there anything I should know that could affect this office?”

“Not that I know of yet. There are definitely domestic problems brewing though. There are follow-on instructions that arrive tomorrow and I’ll likely have to send a reply, that’s another week’s turnaround.”

“Well, remember you get across heavy ground as lightly as you can. I’m thinking that you have an immutable deadline 5 months from now and it would be best if things were settled before your son is born. I can kickstart the paperwork for travelling with a uterine replicator and hire a medtech to conduct it to Vorbarr Sultana. That’s the arrangement with the longest lead time, and I’m pretty familiar with it.”

“Taking that job off our hands would be a big help, thank you. We can sort out more later when I have more details. I have a lot to discuss with my wife first.”

“Anything else I can do to help, just ask. In the meantime, take care of your family.”

**6hrs -Dealing With Tej**

They returned to a frantic Tej. She was supposed to meet them for a late lunch, but instead she returned to empty quarters, permeated with the scent of Ivan’s distress pheromones. The most she could have done was verify from ImpSec that all family members were alive and intact.

She read Gregor’s message in shock and dismay. “So what does this mean? Falco Vorpatril can just cut you out? We had to have a hearing last time.”

Ivan was grateful that Tej hadn’t yet criticised the Barrayan legal system or suggest they make a higher bid to the Council of Counts, but then they no longer had the money for it anyway.

“Well I’m still a lord and still Vor, those are imperially granted titles and only the Emperor can rescind them. We just can’t call ourselves Patril and I’ve lost my right to any funds that bear the Vorpatril name, which means the main cash flow for those expensive school fees just evaporated. We still have our salaries and any income from those earnings, but a lot of mine was going into the same fund as my inheritance holdings. I’ll have to start legal proceedings in the District to claw it back.”

“Alright that’s one thing we can do. What else is there under Barrayaran law?

“Well, we can appeal the will to the new Count Vorpatril. If that has problems, we can ask Gregor, Miles or Dono to place a petition before the Council of Counts to overturn the decision. The fact that Gregor hasn’t done already, means that there’s a hidden political mess that we haven’t been told about. Gregor mentions that cousin Edwin has been replaced by his younger brother, that suggests something dirty happened. Maybe someone used us as scapegoats to Falco —we’re not exactly around to defend ourselves— so he disinherited us as a mistake.”

“if we don’t petition the Council, or we lose the vote, then we have to petition another Count to join their family or petition Gregor to start a new clan.”

Byerly murmured “VorArqua?” Ivan watched Tej’s pupils dilate and had to admire that subtle piece of manipulation, even as he was revolted by it. She rallied despite the emotional bribe.

“Or we could walk away. It’s a big galaxy love, we could leave Barrayar to it’s backwards bigots and our children would never be harassed. You were already worried about them getting bullied at school for being part Cetagandan, they’re now old enough to hear the foul gossip being flung at us. If we left, our children need never be dragged through the mud.”

“No, they can be bullied for being Barrayaran or Jacksonian instead. Kids can be nasty on any planet. There’s one ugly specimen at Moira’s school right now that called her a freak-fish because her mother was blue so had to come from the sea. She was in floods of tears when Nanny picked her up yesterday and finally told me about it this morning. The little monster’s not even one of the Barrayaran ex-pats. We have to teach our children to stand up for themselves, no matter where they are. At least on Barrayar, we have the social clout to make our enemies cautious and we know exactly what the slurs are going to be, so we can arm the kids beforehand on how to respond.”

Byerly, went deadly and Tej looked horrified “Ivan Xav! Why wasn’t I told about this immediately! I knew she was upset about something, Why didn’t she tell me? Why didn’t you call me this morning?”

Ivan’s heart sank with embarrassment, “Sorry, I was going to tell you —both of you— over lunch and got sidetracked. It’s been a rotten day all round.”

Tej gripped his hand, unhappy, but understanding. Byerly was not yet forgiving, but knew to concentrate on the fight in progress.

“I’ll talk to her teacher. Ivan’s point is a good one though. We hadn’t prepared them enough, because we assumed that a galactic school would have more advanced education methods than on Barrayar. But bullies are universal and they’ll always find some vulnerability to attack you. If we take them to Barrayar we know what to expect, how to handle it and how to fight back. it’s nothing more than what I’ve been doing for decades.”

Ivan nodded, “We should have inoculated the kids against any emotional beating-up they’re going to get. It’s past time for innocent bystander lessons.”

Tej nodded grimly, “I’ve been too lax. With ten other siblings, I learned tactical negotiation from the cradle. I should have factored that in. I’m sorry.“

“Don’t be, it’s on all of us. We fix the problem we have now. As soon as I can, I’m making a very large flow chart with every possible avenue for insult that I can think of, whether it’s gengineering, Cetagandan blood, skin colour, galactic corruption, Barrayaran barbarism, uterine replicators, whatever. The chart will give them a reason for why its actually a good thing, plus a comeback for when they can’t think of something in the shock of the moment.”

Byerly butted in “There no substitute for creative spontaneity though. Its all very well claiming to be innocent bystanders, but a good snap insult back usually puts off one’s opponent enough that they don’t try it again.”

Tej knew he was right, but wasn't happy. “Snappy insults are also a slippery-slope to the very meanness that they’re trying to defend against. I don’t want them turning into Eric or Star.”

Ivan nodded decisively. “Right-oh, we combine approaches. You run practice sessions on snappy comebacks and I’ll make that chart and show them how to use it. Once they have the basic skill, we follow on with how to de-escalate and negotiate. I want them to get out of fights not into them.

Tej closed quickly, “Deal. We start as soon as we know what we’re doing next. What about another posting instead? ”

“Not possible with this mess. A big piece of my identity has been ripped away. It’s put my reputation in tatters. I can swear with my breath and voice, but I can’t swear on my name’s word with no name to give. In some ways, for a Vor, it’s worse than a Jacksonian being houseless. We’ve been summoned back to deal with it and we’re just going to have to endure the fall out.”

“That _vile_ old man! I still say we can walk away. We still have plenty of contacts in House Cordonah, we could rejoin at a very high level and price.”

“Sorry love, I just can’t. Not Jackson’s Whole. Besides, a lot of our success is the result of having the weight of the Barrayaran military at our back.”

“The Marilacans might welcome us too...”

Byerly cut through her protests, “Tej, Once you strip out the Vor honour and the fancy language, Barrayar and Jackson’s Whole have a lot in common. Effectively, we belong to House Barrayar. Our Baron has summoned us back and we either obey or become Houseless grubbers. You’ve been one once, do you really want that ever again?”

Tej blanched, “No. But..we could join another House?”

“No, even when I was with your family, I remained House Barrayar. I just happened to be on loan to the Arquas. Ivan’s trying to be nice about it, but for better or worse, this is who your husbands are. Anything else and the person in the mirror would become someone unrecognisable.”

Ivan piped up, “Besides what would we live on? Do you really think we can get a better deal somewhere else —realistically?”

By agreed, “Exactly, Gregor and Laisa are family and better Barons than anyone else out there. Besides, Gregor mentioned a settlement, I’m sure that will include reparations for Ivan’s stolen inheritance. If it doesn’t, then we fight hard to get it back. I’m not scrounging for a wardrobe ever again.”

Tej nodded judiciously. “Good point. Never run without getting the cash first, if you can. Very well. We go back and see what the Gregor has to offer.”

“Deal.”

Now that the biggest hurdle was over, Ivan wanted to know ”What do we tell the children? school’s almost out.”

By mused, “We don’t know enough to tell them anything yet. We need to read our mail and obtain more intelligence. We need to hear the emperor’s proposal and then plan. They’re going to realise something’s wrong, so for now we say that Cousin Falco, the head of your clan, has died and you’re rather upset over it. Tej and Nanny can take them to ballet and the park, wear them out and hopefully they’ll respect an instruction for quiet until Da feels better.”

Ivan and Tej were both skeptical about the last, but agreed to the idea.

**7hrs -After School**

The simple plan worked well enough, especially as Tej and Byerly were rather more determined to investigate ‘freak-fish’ than go on about Ivan. Over tea and cake, Padma hugged his Da and asked if Falco was as close a cousin as Moira. “No Paddy, but he was my legal guardian growing up. He had a lot of influence on what happened to me. So not like Moira, maybe more like Ambassador Vorgorov. There’s a big legal tangle left behind, so lots of paperwork and another trip away to fix it.”

Padma looked upset at that one. After Tau Ceti, trips away had become firmly classified as ‘bad things.’ Ivan swiftly hugged his son. “No nothing like last time, no Service ships or pirates or funny stuff. Just lots of dull couriers and boring homework.”

“Back in time for Baby Brother though?”

“Definitely.”

**8hrs -Falco Speaks**

Ivan looked unenthusiastically at the haul of messages accumulated after weeks of censorship. In the end he decided to open the one most important one: Falco’s last message and the accompanying will. Chickening out of the message, Ivan opened the will first. Hmmm, Stefin for the countship, ...cousin Edwin _and_ cousins Eugin and Georg all disinherited and stripped of the Vorpatril name, ...criminal activities, ...provision for bastards, ...victim compensation. OK that meant some kind of criminal racket including prostitution going on, Eugin had always been a bit unsavoury. Dammit, that girl was 10! No wonder Falco went crazy until he popped a cork, there had to have been a major scandal in the Vorpatril District, just as he thought he could safely hand all the burdens over to his heir. Somehow Ivan and his family got caught up in the house-cleaning.

Scanning further Ivan found the part relating to him. ...stripped of the Vorpatril name, for ‘perversion and fraternising with our enemies,’ ...frozen from the general Vorpatril assets ...stripped of entailed Vorpatril inheritance —Hey wait, some of those monies were part of the Vorpatril inheritance by marriage only, it originally came from Prince Xav. Well that was getting contested for sure, as it was never Falco’s to take. At the very least it should have gone to Paddy! —nope Padma was out too, labeled a mutie— ‘due to contamination of our honoured blood by Barrayar’s most vicious occupiers.’ Bastard! The evil old dinosaur had cut off a little boy because of his long-dead great grandfather. Poor Paddy, his unborn brother too, Prince Xav on one side and general Ghem Estif on the other. Maybe Tej was right and they should just... wait...no. All these years and Falco had never connected the Cetagandan part of Tej’s name to the Occupation general who had released biologicals in the Vorpatril District. Ivan had always been careful to avoid that appellation when they were on-planet —styling her Lady Vorpatril or Arqua-Vorpatril— to launder her mother’s origins. Generally, folk were disconcerted enough by the Jacksonian part to not-notice the rest. Someone in the know had put a flea in Falco’s ear. Ivan suddenly recalled parts of Gregor’s letter _“..._ _Falco learned about the new embryo between yourself and By from Lady Alys.” “...Your lady mother is even more distressed by this action than your cousins...”_ Ivan sagged back closing his eyes in shock. “Oh no. Mother what did you do?”

He couldn’t read any more of it. With great reluctance, he flicked on Falco’s last message. A bitter aged face appeared.

“Ivan. I should have yanked you home years ago. You’ve become utterly corrupted by the perversions oozing out of Jackson’s Whole. Why did you never tell me that Tej was General Ghem Estif’s grand-daughter?. Great gods, did you never study a lick of history boy? Did you never read what he did to our District? You married a child from a line of monsters and bred more with her.”

“Next, you made a mockery of the act of marriage by enjoining with a man, and _that_ man—Vorrutyer— A depraved drug-dealer that turned traitor by conspiring with Jackson’s Whole criminals. It’s no surprise he had to run for his life again. Why didn’t you just throw him to ImpSec where he belongs?”

“I could understand using a galactic bureaucratic loop-hole to marry him. But now, I’m told, you intend to flat-out destroy law, tradition and honour by having a ceremony here on Barrayar itself. You’ve broken your respected mother’s heart with this travesty and dragged our name through the mud. Worse, I hear you’re using weird gene manipulation to mix our blood with that deviant’s and cook up more mutie monsters. It’s sick and it stops here! I’m ejecting you from the Vorpatrils, I’d eject you from the Vor if I could. Stay out in the galactic back-beyond and don’t come back.”

Vitriol and bigotry, defamation and lies! Rage shook Ivan like a rag, choking the breath out of him. Tej was none of that. Padma was none of that. His son was beautiful! He had his parents’ looks, charm and affability. Quick to pick up ballet and judo moves or his mother’s sensory drills. Paddy was a delight to his parents and teachers, a ball of brilliant potential.

Falco had lost his sons, one to illness, the other at Hegen Hub. How dare he criticise someone else’s son! Furthermore, his re-marriage had been childless, so who was he to scorn uterine replicator technology either! All they’d done to make Simon Dono Amiri, was combine Ivan’s X chromosome with Byerly’s Y, a biotech trick that long predated the invention of the uterine replicator. Any alterations were to gene-clean By’s DNA of the dicky heart and bipolar disorder embedded in the Vorrutyer heritage. It was the very opposite of being a mutie!

How dare he... how dare... Ivan’s mind whited out in rage and pain.

Dinner was a largely silent affair. Ivan couldn’t conceal his distress well enough not to alarm his children; they couldn’t interpret his strange expression or his odd scent and didn’t know what to do. “Falco’s last message” was all he could get out. Tej and By handled bedtime and explanations to give him some peace.

**10hrs -Analyse This**

Once the adults were alone, Tej mixed some brutally alcoholic cocktails and had Ivan down the first one without touching the sides. Byerly slipped away with Ivan’s reader to read Falco’s message for himself. He returned, with flat eyes and white lips, to down a cocktail for himself. “If that bastard wasn’t in the ground already, I’d put him there for this.

We’re going back. We’re going back so I can find the toadying lizard that poured this filth into Falco’s ear and knife him in a very dark alley, preferably with a mess of incriminating porn and drug paraphernalia as well.”

“I think...I think it was my mother.” Both spouses looked shocked.

“You think she could destroy her own family just because you did something she doesn’t approve of? No, I don’t believe it! Lady Alys conspired with Falco all those years ago to ensure we _stayed_ married. She adores Paddy, even if she’s struggling over Moira. She may have become rigid since retiring, but she’d never harm us like this.”

“No, nothing so malicious. But she told him about our Barrayaran vow-renewal ceremony and the tidings about decanting Simon Dono Amiri had to come from her. Gregor or Dono would never tattle to Falco. There’s all the signs of a bad scandal in the Vorpatril District. I think she received our news, decided to air another round of complaints about ‘youth today’ and moaned to her Count at the wrong time. After that, either someone in the conservatives stirred him up some more, or else we were scapegoated by the cousins to evade criminal charges.”

“Then let’s find out.” Tej said. “You remember what the Gregor said and you’re the one that follows orders so well: I get to read Lady Alys’s mail first. Hand it over.”

Ivan plucked his reader from By, found the message and gave it to Tej. She scanned it quickly, various negative expressions chasing across her face.

“Gregor was right. She puts the blame squarely on By. There’s a comparison to a stray that followed us home, plus a dig at me for keeping him, lovely. Hmmm ...‘galactic practices’... as if she doesn’t know the High Vor scene has plenty of homegrown ménage à trois. ...lobbied Gregor, Dono _and_ Miles. Yes, she oh-so-casually mentions that she talked it over with Falco —doesn’t reveal anything about what was actually said ...appalled at his actions toward her son and how honourable you were before getting involved with ‘That Man’ ...name drops all the people she’s tried to lobby to fix it...”

“You’re right Love. Your mother stuffed up. I think she was trying to get our little Simon-Amiri declared a Vorrutyer rather than a Vorpatril and it got away from her. She stepped on a land-mine she didn’t realise was there. Now she’s too embarrassed to admit it and is trying to cover over her mistake.”

Byerly snarled and threw his glass into the wall. “I worked for that woman for over a decade! She knew I had to participate in distasteful acts. Actions even I was revolted at sometimes. None of this came out! I named my children for her and Illyan because I respected them so much! Is _that_ the reason?” Tej and Ivan both clutched him close.

“No, I happen to know she respects your talents and sacrifices. It isn’t you.” Ivan said sadly, “It’s always about me.” By pulled away to listen. “Mamere refuses to see me as an adult, so every time I make a choice that she doesn’t approve of, she has to fix it. My opinion is, of course, entirely irrelevant. It became a war decades ago. Our ‘Improper relationship’ is just my latest disappointment in a long line of them. Now a child with 3 genetic parents? I think she’s alarmed by the science, so she tried to get him off the Vorpatrils and onto the Vorrutyers.” Ivan sighed bitterly. “At this point, all we can do is rely on Gregor and Laisa to restrain her and wait for age to carry her off ...Unless...” His spouses looked at him irritably as he stared into space. “Umm, By. Do you still want to go through with this?”

“Are you getting cold feet Ivan?” By demanded suspiciously.

“Well, it’s just...we travel home via Sergyar right?...and Tante Cordelia is supposed to be be one of our witnesses in the groat circle. So what if we send all of this to her and ask her to sort Mamere out for us?”

By looked doubtful, “I’ve heard the stories about Dowager Countess Vorkosigan and her ‘Betan logic’ and she’s been kind and sensible in her letters, but is that enough to sway Lady Alys?”

Tej grinned evilly. “Oh yes, absolutely. Lady Alys is formidable, but she never ran her own planet. Yes please Ivan Xav, throw her to the Betan. Psychotherapy and revenge in one go. Very efficient.” She hugged By with one arm, then used the other to draw Ivan down into a very thorough kiss.

When he came up for air, Ivan resumed the thread. “Someone else definitely got to Falco though. That rant was too distorted and ugly. We need to figure out who, then I’ll happily hold your coat while you nail him.”

By shuddered delicately, “Please, you’ll drag the hems through the mud. My braiding will never recover. Tej? ”

This grin was more a baring of teeth, “Sure. I’ll get the weapons, you get the drugs. Then, I’ll happily hold the coats and we might, _might_ , let Ivan Xav be the lookout.”

“Hey! Besides, we have to find him first.”

“In the morning I’ll squeeze Chief Neils until he chokes up the Domestic Affairs reports he must have been holding back. In the meantime, shall we see what our allies have to say? Neither Miles nor Dono will let us down for the juiciest gossip or the tastiest tidbits. I foresee a veritable meal awaiting us.”

Tej offered Ivan his reader back, he refused. he’d had enough for one night. Instead he wedged himself in a corner of the sofa, with one arm stretched along the back. It was an invitation to cuddle that neither spouse missed.

Byerly mixed something lighter and fruitier while Tej found the Nexus News on holovid. Then they settled: Byerly on the sofa tucked in the circle of Ivan’s arm while Tej took her senior husband’s lap, her head on his shoulder and her legs sprawled comfortably over By for him to fondle. It had taken a while to make this work, but the three could now snuggle comfortably and Ivan felt the tension in him ease for the first time today, as he tightened his grip on his lovers. After the News, the readers came out and Ivan listened as the two made a start on their stack of messages.

**12hrs -Mail Call**

Byerly graciously gave Tej the first go. “First up is one from Empress Laisa. She says she’s looking forward to having me back in Vorbarr Sultana under less dreadful circumstances ...Hopes I’m managing you two properly and not letting any ‘Vor rubbish’ get in the way of healthy relationships. She says there’s political problems that touch our wedding plans, but there are work-arounds as long as we still want to go ahead. She has the revised arrangements completely sorted and will send the details once she hears from us.”

“She also wants to reassure us about Lady Alys. Laisa says not to worry too much about your mother’s activities as, from now on, Gregor is taking steps to see she doesn’t cause too much damage. Laisa herself is holding back. She adores your mother and will always be grateful, but it sounds like she’s as frustrated as I am with our mutual in-law. Wow, Laisa gets dangerously blunt here: ‘Alys’s time is over and she needs to move on. She claims to be relieved to be retired, yet sometimes she seems to forget that, and when she does she drives me up the wall.’ The empress doesn’t want to force a permanent break but the scene at the Residence is becoming more socially mixed, which Lady Alys finds uncomfortable and is trying to reverse as best she can. Too bad. It’s good for the High Vor to get prodded like this and Gregor is fully behind his empress. But Laisa says she really needs a proper grumble about Barrayarans with some girlfriends who get it. She says I’ll enjoy having tea with Lady Vorob’yev, who can be pleasantly ironic once she gets going. Apparently, you know her Ivan.”

“Briefly. I wasn’t long out of the academy at the time. Miles and I were sent to Eta Ceta for a state funeral and she was a protocol officer at the Vervani embassy there. She married Lord Vorob’yev soon after and he died about 4 years ago. I guess she’s managed to tolerate the Vor better than Tante Cordelia did, as she hasn’t run away screaming to another planet.”

“I’ll bet it’s a close call sometimes though. I think I’d be very interested to meet her.”

“OK, what else? Here’s one from Drou. Says how sorry she is about what’s happened and she’s angry that our loyal service to the empire has been rewarded this way. She gives us her love, I’m to kiss you for her, since she can’t be there to do it herself.” Tej kissed his cheek, conveniently close, then carried on. “Hmm, she’s also very cross with Lady Alys...says that she supports our choices, no matter how strange, and it’s long past time that your mother did the same. She hopes we’re still going ahead with our ceremony, despite the awful circumstances, because we should never allow our enemies to dictate our actions. If we do want to go ahead, she’d still love to be our Coach...She also wants baby pictures. Finally, something normal.”

“Yeah, Tante Drou was like another mother to me growing up, the only female that wasn’t terrifying, hyper-critical or both.”

Byerly squeezed his hand in silent solidarity about Vor dragons, then distracted him by changing the subject.

“I’ve got a string from Dono. Close to one a week for the whole embargo. Hmmm, this one’s from before the Vorpatril will became public. Dono talks about the doings of his Committee for Imperium Marriage Codification. The witness testimony continues...Ha! Apparently, Dono’s second ex-husband made quite a show. He’s been stridently denying a string of homosexual affairs his whole life, yet they divorced due to his ‘inability to execute his husbandly duty’ —couldn’t get it up for a woman, not even the magnificent Lady Donna.”

“It certainly wasn’t the case in Dono’s committee room, just the opposite. Apparently he couldn’t take his eyes—or other parts—off his former ex-wife and had to speak his piece with various flimsies propped in front of him. The best bit is that he was supposed to be arguing _against_ the proposed changes. That lasted about as long as took Dono to batt his eyelashes and flex some muscles. He fell apart and scuttled off. He came back a few hours later, testifying that if Donna had looked like that 30 years ago, they’d still be married and probably given Pierre the heir he needed to fend off Richars.”

Tej smiled “Good for him. One for the honesty stakes.”

Ivan agreed. “Even more so, because as a conservative, from a staunch conservative family, he must have paid a high price afterward for wrecking their battle plan. I hope Dono or some of the other progressives have helped.”

“Dono doesn’t say. One more loose end to check up when we get home I suppose. Pity I’m faithfully married now, I could have collected him. Such a lost opportunity to compare.”

“No need, you two have already shared the best.” argued Tej, nuzzling Ivan.

“If a gentleman were willing to kiss and tell.” he murmured back. Byerly’s eyes sparkled with the promise of a long and laviscious chat with his cousin when they returned. But Ivan could live with that, as long as he wasn’t in the room when it happened.

“Ah, This letter talks about Ivan. There’s lots of anger here. He’s outraged at Falco for cutting you off just for keeping to your oaths and having a baby. He says that after all your years of luv-em-and-leave-em, the Vorpatrils should be grateful that you have follow-through after all. Dono’s just as furious that we were backstabbed by your family when we weren’t even on the planet to defend ourselves. Even Vorrutyers don’t go that far. Dono tried to get the emperor to overturn that part of the will, but no luck. Apparently the new Count Vorpatril’s seat is _very_ wobbly and Gregor refuses to do anything that threatens him. Dono’s pissed off about that too. Dono’s got the petition to the Council of Counts all prepared for us, the only thing stopping him is that the emperor demanded he wait for our approval. Gregor argued that if Dono is all-fired up about marital freedom and self-determination, then he shouldn’t be making choices about our family without our input first.”

“A critique about you ...too nice for his own good... I’m to push you into fighting back and not not allow discomfort or laziness to stop you when it gets hard. He’s certain that all the Progressives will fall in line behind him and Miles on this one. The problem is the Conservatives are hardening too. Falco was one of the few centrists and they pick up the seat if they can keep Stefin Vorpatril in place. Several of them don’t like what’s happened to a serving diplomat and hero, and would support an independent petition for Ivan to regain his name, but he has to drop this ‘galactic co-spouse nonsense’ and get the annulment he was supposed to have two years ago. Some of them think I’ve blackmailed you. Although... ” He smirked at the next part. “...there’s been some _very_ complimentary speculation about my sexual skills in order to satisfy such a notorious ladies man as yourself.”

Ivan coloured and flicked By’s ear. “That’s enough of that if you please.”

“True though” said Tej, with matching smirk.

“Moving on. In this letter, Dono says the polyandry vote is going to be a minimum of 2 years away as the problem of gender oaths is proving too intractable for a quick fix. Right now, Dono’s marshalling arguments about the economic impacts. The committee’s presented the numbers about the female brain drain and the problems the new professional Vor classes are having. Now, they’re taking testimony from senior officers in the Women’s Auxiliaries. It seems that for all of the women in uniform, it’s literally career or marriage, because they can’t uphold their oaths to the emperor or their superior officers when the marriage oath legally requires their husband to be their liege-lord. If they want children, they either have to marry and abandon their careers; or they become single parents and get called sluts and whores on the street, sometimes by their own families.”

“That’s utterly ridiculous!” snapped Tej.

Ivan sighed “ ’Fraid not. Dono needs to be really careful too. Women in the service is a highly controversial issue and some admirals still want them gone altogether. If he tries to correct the problem, he could make it worse.”

“You should do something then. You were once a top military insider. You can put Dono in touch with the sympathetic admirals to make sure it swings the right way.”

Byerly agreed. “That would be a genuine help my dear. It wouldn’t count as political interference either, just some name dropping so that like-minded people can connect.”

“Dono says that Count Vorkosigan has officially requested some of the Dendarii, including an ex-pat that lives on Escobar, come to Barrayar to testify about how women can be warriors, mothers and working professionals, provided the law doesn’t stand in the way. Naturally the conservatives are bitching about losing our way of life and the destruction of Barrayaran culture.”

“Well of course they would! They’re not the ones forced to abandon the things they love because of stupid laws shaped for medievalism, not a galactic empire!”

Ivan humphed “It was just the same when uncle Aral was trying to reform the badly-run districts and had to come at it via codified prole oaths. Dono needs to do it the right way too. The economics are the way to reach them, not the human cost. Hit them in the purse-strings. It’s the one argument they all listen to.”

On that depressing note, they decided to give up for the night.

**14hrs -Ménage à Trois**

Once curled in their big warm bed, they tried to feel better with one of their favourite sexual positions: the Ivan sandwich. Normally, Ivan would pleasure Tej, while Byerly prepared him; then Ivan would balance himself between his partners, carefully moving, fucking and fucked, while they held-on tight. It was mind melting, but took skill, concentration and stamina. Unfortunately for tonight, one out of three wasn’t enough. Even as he made Tej a happy woman, Ivan’s mind kept slipping back to Falco’s ugly words. Nor were kisses and caresses distracting enough to get him beyond half-mast. “It’s no good.” he sighed despairingly and shut his eyes, so he wouldn’t have to see the smart-aleck remarks hovering trapped behind Byerly’s teeth.

She whispered, “S’all right, my love. As you said, it’s been a rotten day all round. Stop trying.” They moved him face down and Tej kissed down his spine while Byerly inserted a lubed finger into his backside, taking his time with his husband’s prostate. That felt better. “More” moaned Ivan

A surprised pause, “You really want me to go all the way?"

“Yes. Please”

As he was opened further and he began to feel his partner’s penis inside him, a vicious internal voice whispered ‘I hope you feel this you bastard wherever you are. I bet you’re regretting not giving me that divorce to Tej all those years ago.’

By pulled him up to kneeling, giving his wife better access to Ivan’s groin. As By went harder and rougher, Ivan couldn’t tell if he wanted this for pleasure or punishment, he was just relieved the unhappiness was finally drowned out by sensation.

**22hrs -Come the Dawn**

In the morning, Ivan contentedly snoozed, his nose buried in his wife’s soft breasts, a warm husband spooned along his back, and a friendly spousal hand at his genitals.

If Ivan had a thing about breasts, Byerly had a thing about balls. Deep in the night —especially when stressed— the slumbering By would cup his husband and sink deeper into sleep, somehow settled by the tactile reassurance that he lay with a man. Byerly never volunteered, nor Ivan asked, why the need was there. Ivan had simply learned to accept that sleepy, questing paw and withstand the arousal it could provoke. Now, he stroked the fingers on his sac and felt By press into his shoulder. All of yesterday’s problems had been driven off for now and Ivan was satisfied to leave them be.

Alas the drowsy peace was not to last. The children had been worried for their Da last night. They expressed that concern by sneaking into their parents’ bedroom and jumping on the bed—just to ensure he was alright.

**24hrs -Miles Weighs In**

Tej and By took the school run so they could make a parent-teacher appointment, leaving Ivan to plunge into his messages with renewed vigour. He started by sorting them, less by date, rank or priority, but likelihood of disaster. Venomous snakes only, today.

Duv, Delia, Rene Vorbretten, Desplains, two from Tante Cordelia —those would probably be mind warping but not dangerous— Oliver Jole, Kou. Three from Simon Illyan, including one after the pirate news broke...oh thank goodness, that meant he wan’t towing Mamere’s line. Various members of the diplomatic corps, Huh, Vormoncrief? Vorhalas? The Conservatives wanted something from him? Maybe they just wanted to vent. Definitely not a garden snake though.

The newest Count Vorpatril, Stefin, had sent 2 different communiques. There was one from cousin Edwin the ex-heir _and_ one each from the disinherited cousins Eugin and Georg. Well those raping bastards could just go hang. Stefin’s second message was dated hours after theirs. Did Stefin think he was going to swallow whatever tripe the cousins were selling?

Abruptly, Ivan knew he was never going to own his name again. He was Vor, he lived to serve. A Vorpatril served the people of his District and if the only way Ivan could help those people was by swallowing his pride and supporting the new Count Stefin, then so be it. They deserved a Count that wouldn’t steal their money and daughters from them. In turn, the cousins deserved everything that Falco, Stefin and Gregor could throw at them. ...In fact, what they really deserved was the ingenuity of an angry Byerly. That girl-child in the will wasn’t much older than By’s lost Donna-Udine; a bit of prodding and the wrath of an outraged father should mesh nicely with that of an outraged Count. Justice, a re-connection to the better part of the clan and important people _seeing_ Byerly do it. Yes! and Miles said he couldn’t scheme, heh.

Decision made, it was time to see what terrifying insanity Miles Vorkosigan thought was in Ivan’s best interests.

The first message was fairly innocuous, by the low standards of Miles-missives. “...The new law for men’s marriage is now on the docket for voting. I think you’ve seen the details already. The Progressives are for it, although there’ve been a few surprise departures. Count VorSmythe for one. He got very unhappy and refused to give his reasons, when he admitted he was voting against it. Vorvolynkin was a surprise in the other direction, so was young Count Vorhalas. This one is really cutting to the bone on a very personal level for a lot of Counts and it seems family dynamics are trumping the normal political divides. So, unless I get a few breakaways on the day, it looks like I may have a decent majority for a change.”

“I’ve asked Elana Bothari-Jesek to come to Barrayar and testify about her career. She’s a former armswoman and captain of a warship, and stayed a ship-master throughout years of motherhood. A perfect role-model for the women’s auxiliaries moving forward. Even better, as an armsman’s daughter, the isolationists can’t wiggle out by claiming she’s insufficiently Barrayaran. Do you want to see her? She’d love to meet Paddy and Moira and her eldest should be about 17 by now. Let me know and we’ll try to time it so you’re both on-planet together.”

The next message: “Hey, congratulations on the new sprog. You’ve managed to give your mother the one thing she wants most in the galaxy and still totally piss her off. Very impressive coz.”

“For some reason, she’s really unhappy about a child cooked up from two men. I tried to explain how it works, but it just seemed to upset her even more. I mean the IVF techniques involved are so old that the Firsters may have used them. Everard Xav Jole was made the same way and he’s fine, so what the hell? I wonder if she’s suffering from old mutie fears. Falco’s seriously pissed off too, but then he also has Lord Auditor Vorgustafson poking about and sniffing over his heir right now.”

“Lot of folks are are puzzled by your actions and don’t understand why you’ve stayed married. It doesn’t fit with your ‘innocent bystander’ routine. Just why are you doing this anyway? You’ve really stuck your neck out on this one, a child is a life-time commitment. You’ll never untangle yourself from Byerly after this, so what’s he got? There’s lots of rumours that Byerly and Dono are blackmailing you with something from the old days. Dono swears no, Imp-Sec say ‘not currently,’ but then they always hedge their bets. Have there been nefarious inducements? Bribes? Something from Tej? If I’m to counter the gossip it would help to know your reasons.”

Ivan sighed, why was it so hard to make people believe that he fell in love? ‘what’s Byerly got?’ How about charm, wit and honour; a deep passion for justice and the courage to act on it at all cost, the strength to survive the worst life could throw, the sexual talent to satisfy him regardless of gender, the cunning to get Ivan out his self-made scrapes and the sanity to know when to stop. A trait that Miles most definitely didn’t have. Most importantly, he knew Ivan’s masks and Ivan’s fears, yet had kept to his promises instead of falling back into the old mockery. Why was Ivan doing this? Because By had earned it.

He wasn’t sure he could or even should tell Miles all that, perhaps Dono, but Dono already understood. Gregor would stay neutral. Illyan? Galeni? No, Ekaterin. She had the power to counter the gossip and the tact to respect his confidences. Most importantly, she was someone that Miles might actually listen to.

Next message. Now the trouble started: “...Disinherited! I can’t believe it, I’ve read the reports on the ‘Pride of Olbia’, I know what the hell you did. You’re out there risking your life and Falco stabs you in the back, stealing your honour and your money. It’s an outrage!”

“I’ve drafted a petition to restore your name and it’s all ready to lay before the Council of Counts. Falco disinherited a whole bunch of you for immoral and criminal acts. The trick will be to convince the Counts that Falco was wrong about calling you a pervert, yet still right about Edwin. I really don’t want to give him an opening to claw back the District. Who wants a rapist for a colleague for the next decade or more.

You really need to give me something useful to persuade the Council. Are you staying married to By for Tej’s sake? I can sell that, even if it makes you look hen-pecked. If the blackmail theory is believed too much, then you may need to get divorced first, although Dono says you’re actually choosing to sleep with the man. Come on Ivan, this is serious. If you care about your honour, it’s time to stop being coy.”

Next message: “Your cousin Edwin has got that ass Vorlakial to petition the Counts to contest the Vorpatril succession. He’s claiming Falco was dying and not in his right mind when he jammed his new heir through the Council. No-one’s falling for it, I’ve seen the evidence and so have most of the Counts. It’s a a great opportunity to get rid of a Conservative, though. Barrayar doesn’t need another political fossil for the next 30 years. If we’re questioning the will and arguing that he was wrong to disinherit you, then why not go one better? What if you were to take the Vorpatril Countship? The District needs a good man like you, that cares about honour. I know you’re only a distant cousin, but since there’s no-one in the direct line, a cousin has to be put in place anyway. There’s only six people ahead of you after Stefin and none of them have your level of administrative experience. I’ve drafted my own petition overturning the entire will and putting you forward. I’ve been using your recent heroism to talk you up as a candidate and the Progressives would fall in behind you in order to stop the seat becoming Conservative. Some of the Conservatives might be persuaded, or blackmailed, over as I can make you seem Centrist enough to be a swing vote. Others think you’re so apolitical that you won’t even show, like old Vorfolse, which reduces everyone’s problems. Some of the Progressive’s aren’t happy about that, but I’ve convinced them that it’s better than an outright Conservative, which the other Vorpatrils seem to be...”

Oh god, his cousin was babbling in his excited madness. This was full-on Milesian forward momentum. Not even Ekaterin could provide some sanity. They were going to have to join another family; starting a new VorArqua clan was out, only an old established name could stop this shipwreck. That or leave the Imperium.

Small wonder Mamere was out lobbying and dumping all the blame on By. Locking Ivan into the Countship would fix her mistake _very_ nicely and enable her to talk about ‘her son the Count.’ It also would force a divorce and Byerly would have to go back to the Vorrutyers. Too bad the power-grab would also orphan Moira and screw him, Paddy and little Simon completely. ‘Thank you, my loving relatives.’

Next message: “Gregor says I’m getting ahead of myself. If I don’t wait for your approval, he’ll find some convenient Auditorial investigation that will send me off-planet before the men’s-marriage vote. Can you believe it! Communicate dammit. Stefin’s position is stabilising and the window of opportunity may close, unless I can provoke him into doing something stupid.”

Ivan could only pray that Gregor’s settlement with Stefin didn’t include Stefin stepping down for him. Both Vorpatrils would become pawns in a massive Conservative-Progressive power struggle that would take months and damage every member of Ivan’s family irretrievably. ‘Please Gregor, Please be smarter than this. Please don’t do this to me!’

When Tej came in, Ivan clutched her in silent terror. Facing down pirates was safer than this.

**25hrs -Here Come the Trolls**

His wife calmed him down with hugs, coffee and biscuits. Eventually, she was able to address the issue she’d originally come to talk to him about. “Ivan Xav, I’ve got several nasty messages from something called the ‘Organisation for Traditional Barrayaran Values.’ Did you get anything?”

“Not that I’ve seen, but it’s still only morning.”

“Most of them just call me a slut and a whore for having multiple men.”

“Ugh, not again! I thought those had died down.”

“They had. I’d get one every few months and they’d become so pro forma that our security men made a joke out of them. These are new and with better encryption to get past the initial security screen. Here,” she pulled them up on the comconsole. “ Grit your teeth, Love, because they’re clearly designed to enflame Barrayan sensibilities. The mildest ones just tell me to go back to Jackson’s Whole where I belong. One accuses me of being a Jacksonian saboteur trying to undermine Barrayar’s traditional way of life by marrying an heir to the throne and using him as my political puppet. There’s one that calls me a ‘frigid bitch’ or my husband wouldn’t have become a ‘trouser-bandit’. Another asks if I’m screwing Ambassador Vorgorov and everyone else in the embassy, since I obviously can’t be faithful.”

“You’re right, I am extremely offended. Both by the insult to your honour and the entire smear campaign they’re doing. Working diplomats represent the emperor, technically it’s insulting him. Let’s bounce it to Analysis as fast as possible. Once they crack the coding we can track these bastards down. I’d like to set Ambassador Vorgorov on that last one. That’s his honour _and_ his wife’s being dragged through our mud. That’s not on. Someone’s going to regret that.”

Byerly entered, waving Domestic Affairs reports. Ivan pulled him over to the comconsole.

“Hey By, Did you get any rubbish from the ‘Organisation for Traditional Barrayaran Values’?”

“Plenty:- I’m blackmailing you, I’m a treacherous renegade that betrayed the empire to House Cordonah, I’m a degenerate pervert dragging down the flower of the Vor, Our son is a mutie and deserves to be killed, and I’m conspiring with your evil Jacksonian wife to betray ‘Traditional Barrayaran Values’ with our depraved relationship.”

“Strange that these people manage to overlook the ‘Traditional Barrayaran Values’ of ‘courtesy to women’ or 'don’t commit lèse majesté unless you want to starve in the Great Square’.”

“They seem to prefer the ‘Traditional Barrayaran Values’ of stupidity, bigotry and hypocrisy instead. As Pierre Le Sanguinaire’s ever-so-great-grandson, I personally favour the ‘Traditional Barrayaran Values’ of nailing one’s enemies to the nearest wall. I’ve already cracked the encryption on two of them with some of my security programs.”

“Nice work. Since when did you become a code jockey?”

“Since I had to stay ahead of Star, and she was defending against all the other Great Houses. These twelve-toed clowns are utter amateurs in comparison, especially since they’re isolationists and don’t trust technology, so they’re using commercial Komarran tech. Even a journeyman hacker like me can crack them.”

”It’s Ventrifani’s nutters, then?”

“One of them, certainly, to encrypt the stuff; then it looks like different authors. We’ll find the rest if we overturn some rocks. Tej? Let me look at the stuff sent to you and see if it’s the same morons. After that I can hack them back with a bunch of Jackson’s Whole kiddie porn. Trying to deny it should keep them nicely out of anyone’s way for months.”

“Tempting, but too risky for reprisals back on us. We absolutely need to keep the high ground right now.”

“Scattering Ventrifani’s foot soldiers before the marriage vote might be worth it.”

“No. You, most of all, need to look squeaky-clean and you won’t avoid getting caught. ImpSec’s professional code-slicers are better than you. I want these bastards to have a jolly time in the tender clutches of Domestic Affairs, not have the ammunition to launch a civil suit against you.”

“Split the difference” suggested Tej. “Blitz them with advertising material from House Bharaputra’s ‘Catalogue of Gengineered Clone-Slaves’. If these fools are so parochial that something as ordinary as two men in bed is perversion to them, then they deserve an education on what the real thing looks like.”

Ivan flashed a non-smile. “Deal. Plus _I’ll_ be the one to do it. I’ve had it with all of them. Intolerant asses that try to decide whom I can love. Miles and the Progressives scheming to make political hay out of my life. Now, isolationist bigots playing stupid, petty, nuisance games. Well this set of cretins just smeared _my_ wife and _my_ husband and _my_ son. They need reminding I have teeth.”

Just because a man is an innocent bystander doesn’t mean he can’t defend himself and his family.

**26 hours -Anticipation**

Vorgorov caught him on the way to the tight room, “Anything to report?”

The crisp tone triggered old reflexes. Ivan came to parade rest and delivered his news with the same concision as any report to Admiral Desplains.

“The short version is that the political consequences of marrying Byerly have caught up to us again. The gender laws are being rewritten, the Council fight is squaring up and, as part of the fall out, Count Vorpatril disinherited me. The Emperor has a plan to deal with it and we find out what it is right now. Part of it is that we go back and get married on home-soil, sticking it to our enemies. I certainly intend to wrestle back some of my inheritance, regardless. The rest depends on how Gregor wants to prop up the new Count Vorpatril and how I can best protect my children from the political fall-out.”

“Hmmm, not easy. I still have a lot of on-going talks with my daughters on that one.”

“I haven’t even figured out the first step. How to tell them they’re losing their home, their friends, and going off to a strange planet they’ve heard all about, often negatively, but can’t remember.”

“Kids are resilient if the family is strong, and you’ve a put in a lot of hard work to ensure that your’s is. My respects for that. The secret is laying the groundwork first. My wife and I shared a lot of vids and memories about the good things and what we missed about Barrayar. My girls would then look forward to Home Visits. We also emphasised the good we were doing and talked up the next post so they thought of it as a new adventure.”

“I haven’t said anything about the disinheritance either, too complicated at this point.”

“I’m deeply sorry about that. You’re a good man, Lord Ivan. You and Lord Byerly have done very well for us here and you deserve better. If you three need character testimonials for the legal fight, you certainly have them at any time.”

“Here’s a thought: Instead of an Arqua Night, hold a Vorpatril Night. Burn an offering, talk about your clan and say goodbye to your old names. Make a night out of wrapping up your old lives here, what you’ll miss about Zoave Twilight and what you look forward to on Barrayar. That ought to draw a line under your time here and prepare the kids for the next step, whatever it turns out to be.”

“Thanks I like it. Well whatever it is, the message should be coming through now. Tej and By are supposed to view it too.”

“Well go on then. The Emperor will know what’s best. Let me know how it goes.”

**Epilogue -Hour 27**

_Review all your correspondence, consult your family and contact us with your decision. I can adjust the details if you have a counter-proposal, but I believe I have found the best way ahead for your family, mine and the Imperium. It is a challenging path I have set before you, but I have faith that you are strong enough to walk it._

_Your cousin_

_Count Gregor Vorbarra, Emperor of Barrayar._

Ivan sat silent as hypengiaphobic terror rose to choke him.

In contrast, Byerly punched his shoulder in glee “See! Lord Ivan Vorbarra!”

Tej looked between them concerned. By explained,

“Our innocent bystander here may be having an existential crisis, but I assure you it’s one of the best things for our family. The Vorbarra name is one to conjure with inside the Imperium, far more than any Great House would in Jackson’s Whole, even Baron Fell. And we can forget stupid games like the ‘Organisation for Traditional Barrayan Values’ because it’s automatic treason and everyone knows it.”

“Leaving only the serious games.” She snapped.

“True, but we live to serve anyway. As Vorbarras, any game afoot will be one that’s worth playing. I guarantee it’s better than becoming a grubber, or skipping merrily into a pirate den for a hostage who’s likely already been killed. There’ll be petty jealousy and backbiting over the emperor’s favour; when has there not been? But his hand will be over us. The scandal-mongering will be behind hands in whispers, not thrown in our faces or our children’s. So, what do you think of this deal?”

“I’m mostly relieved that we’re not being asked to take up a Countship.”

“No fear of that. The emperor wants our marriage to succeed and be a precedent for the future. Seriously, my dear.”

Tej considered the question, “I think the emperor wants his sons to have the one thing he didn’t have -more family. At least it’s something I can do, although I’ve never had many _younger_ relatives. We can certainly talk about the perils of ambition. He’s right about the vice and excess too. I remember Dada being so careful to educate our palates about good drugs. He said badly-cut crap could kill you as readily as any deliberate poisoning and we needed to know how to manipulate addiction in others while avoiding it ourselves. The Princes need the same training and they need it before they start experimenting.”

By grinned, “And Vorbarr Sultana thinks that I’m the depraved one. Ivan and I will rely on your excellent advice, then sell it to the imperial family as proof of our long experience and low cunning.”

“As long as you’re _very_ careful, it’s not much different than learning one’s wines. Youngsters bother because they think they’re defying authority. Strip away the taboos, record what they look like while being a stoned fool, and they learn better fast.” She turned the conversation back on By. “What do you think of his plan for our own kids?”

“It’s clever. Laisa wants her girls to be more Galactic than Barrayaran, putting Moira among them, with you to help, will reinforce that for all of them. Paddy will be fine with the Vorkosigans to help out. I like the armsmen too, that’s three more adults permanently in their lives that they can rely on for help...”

Ivan listened to them strategise. They had no idea. They thought they knew power —guarding your tongue, manoeuvring for position, wheeling and dealing behind polite lies, the obligations, the publicity, the backbiting, the stifling security— but being near the top was not like being at the top.

You were constantly resented, as those with massive power and wealth begrudged anyone who restrained their actions. The manoeuvring became unrelenting, and there wasn’t even any satisfaction in it, because the fairest compromises were those that made everyone unhappy —including yourself. Then there was the spite as those on the next rung down envied you, for what they imagined you could do and they couldn’t. The reality; that you could do _less_ than they did, because the weight of your power made you need to judge each action carefully to avoid unintended consequences. Worst of all, the problems would be exacerbated by the furore over their group marriage.

Ivan’s children were going to be thrust into this hothouse, too young to understand the Vor game, but old enough to detect the problems and be affected by the disapproval and petty jealousies. Cousinly help wouldn’t be enough, they’d spent their whole lives in it and were already developing the right reflexes. Padma and Moira had none, it had to be hardened over years. Age seven was already borderline for too old. Gregor had been orphaned, crowned and survived a civil war by their age.

Gregor had utterly screwed Ivan’s eldest children for the good of the empire. Worse, Ivan was going to have to take the deal or become Count Voraptril. For the first time in this entire debacle, Ivan put his head down and wept. His spouses were naive enough to think it was relief.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Zoya1416 for her encouragement and Magister_Tekton for stimulating ideas. I hope that this is moderately realistic male intimacy, considering I'm the wrong gender.
> 
> All Characters belong to Lois McMaster Bujold


End file.
